


Get Up

by literatiruinedme



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Caretaking, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Mutual Pining, Nonverbal Communication, Post-Battle of Scarif, Slow Burn, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-07-15 16:38:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16067087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literatiruinedme/pseuds/literatiruinedme
Summary: He'd gotten up on his own twelve times.He'd walked down a hallway to her room on his own twelve times.Each of the twelve times, he didn't know who she was.





	1. DAYS CONSCIOUS: 3

_Get up._

The words rolled around in his head, not helping how groggy he felt already.

_Get up, Cassian._

He swallowed, his mouth tasting of blood and- was that sand or clay? He blinked, only able to see dura-crete above him. He closed his eyes, ignoring the ache he felt all over.

_Please._

Cassian forced himself to sit up, confused when he noticed wires poking out of his arms and a monitor beeping beside him. He grunted as the beeping grew faster before-

He pulled each of the wires out, gritting his teeth when monitor began to make a continual, high-pitched whining noise. Cassian covered his ears as he made his way for the door. He tugged the door open, blinking groggily as he looked left, right, and left again.

He turned left.

He didn't know what was left.

He walked down a seemingly endless hallway. He passed six doors before turning right and walking down another hallway. He didn't know where he was going, nor what he was venturing towards, but he couldn't stop walking.

_Please, just go!_

The voice in his head sounded so familiar, but it hurt when he tried to think who it belonged to.

He stopped at the end of the hallway, unable to move from the door he stood in front of.

The room held only one bed, occupied by a lone human. The occupant lay still on her back, the monitor beside her moving in a continuous set of peaks and valleys. He swallowed down the bile threatening to force its way up his throat when he noticed the breathing tube and wires protruding from her arms.

Cassian didn't move when he heard footsteps approaching. “Who is she?” He asked quietly, his voice hoarse.

The person behind him stopped, but they didn't speak.

When Cassian turned, he was surprised to see Mon Mothma staring back at him.

She frowned, her face unreadable as she looked at him. “You don't remember her?”

Cassian's brows furrowed, but he ignored the tight feeling in his chest. “Should I?” His worst fear had always been forgetting. He was a spy- if he couldn't remember, he was dead.

Mothma reached a hand out to him, seemingly recognising his panic. “Captain,” she said, the use of his rank grounding his whirring mind.

He reached out for her hand, sparing one last longing glance to the lone occupant of the medbay room before he turned back to Mothma. Cassian let Mothma lead him back to the room he woke up in, ignoring the pull he felt in his chest to the unnamed human. “Who is she?” Cassian asked again quietly once they reached his room.

Mothma opened the door, leading him back to his bed. “She's a brave fighter,” Mothma explained. She helped Cassian into the uncomfortable bed, pulling the blankets up to his chest. “I'll introduce you when she wakes.”

Cassian nodded, suddenly too tired to press for more information. Mothma pulled the blankets over him, smiling down at him before he closed his eyes. He listened as Mothma left, asleep before she closed the door behind her.

When Mon Mothma rounded the corner, she stopped before General Draven, unable to hide her frown. “How many times have you done that walk with him?”

Draven sighed, looking away from Cassian to her. “Nearly a dozen times in the past three days,” he admitted.

They watched Cassian rest in silence.

A meddroid came by thirty minutes later to reattach the tubes to his arms, reset the heart monitor (Mothma had turned it off after they watched Cassian get up and walk out), and readjust his blankets.

A few minutes after the meddroid left, Cassian grew restless once more, twisting and turning.

“Davits,” Mothma sighed, looking from Cassian to the General.

“Ma'am?”

“Go rest,” she said gently, though they both knew it was an order.

He nodded, looking at Cassian once more. “Yes, ma'am.” He stayed for a moment longer before he finally turned to walk back to his quarters.

Mothma looked back to the one-way glass along the wall of Cassian's room. She watched him shift before he stilled. She saw his lips move as he spoke her name.

_Jyn._

His eyes opened again. He lay still for several moments, blinking one before forcing himself to sit up. He looked just as groggy as before. He messily pulled the medical tubes from his arms and forced himself out of bed. He covered his ears as he walked to the door before opening it. He looked left, right, and left again before walking off down one hall and then the next by instinct alone.

Mothma sighed as she walked into his room and shut off the heart monitor.

She walked off after Cassian once more.

* * *

Two days later, Jyn Erso woke up screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this popped into my head after reading the amazing [truth and trust](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15293481/chapters/35479995) by the equally amazing [skitzofreak](https://skitzofreak.tumblr.com/).


	2. DAYS CONSCIOUS: 8

“What did I ask you to remember earlier, Captain?”

Cassian took a deep breath. He knew the answer, Draven told him earlier, he had written it down, he _knew_ it.

“It’s okay to say you don’t know,” Mothma said. He knew her tone was meant to soothe him, but he hated every second of it.

Cassian sighed, doing his best to relax back against the uncomfortable mattress. “I don’t know,” he finally spat out. After a steadying breath- “Sir.”

Draven’s frown deepened. “When was the last time you were on Jedha?”

Cassian’s brows pinched together. _How was that relevant?_ “I had to have been under the age of sixteen at the time, sir.” He frowned when Mothma glanced at Draven. “Was that not the correct answer?” he asked, looking between them.

Neither spoke.

Cassian let out a sigh, not bothering to hide how tired he was. “Please leave,” he said after the silence drew on too long.

“One last question-”

“ _Draven_ ,” Mothma said, her tone warning.

“Does the name _Erso_ mean anything to you?”

Cassian frowned, looking down at the blankets spread out in front of him. _Erso_...the name sounded so familiar. He didn’t understand the feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Were they of the Empire, sir?”

“Mixed origins.”

Cassian studied the General for a moment before letting out a sigh. “I believe I met him once?” he asked, looking up again. “It was a gala or some other function.”

Draven nodded as if he dimly recalled the event. “Possibly.”

Before Cassian could ask what he meant by _possibly_ , Draven and Mothma were already walking out of the room, quickly closing the door behind them.

Cassian sighed, looking down at the note on his tray table:

_SOMEONE  WILL BE AROUND TO ESCORT YOU TO LUNCH AT 1300._

_GO WITH HER._

He nodded when he realised he had two hours to wait. He let a breath out through his nose and relaxed against his mattress. He closed his eyes, focusing his attention of the sounds of the medbay while he waited.

The heart monitor beeped annoyingly beside him. A door opened down the hall. One person walked past his room. Someone coughed loudly from another bed. A pager went off. Another person passed his room. Laughter. Someone wheeled something by his room. A vent started making noise-

_Please, just go!_

Cassian woke with a gasp, blinking the world back into focus.

“Captain-”

He looked next to him, his hands gripping the wrists of...was that another patient?

“You’re hurting me.”

Cassian’s hands retreated. “Who are you?” he asked, ignoring how cold his hands felt without hers. He looked the stranger up and down; short, brown hair, green eyes, her expression somewhere between standoffish and almost... _comfortable?_

She jerked her chin towards the tray table. “I’m the someone who’s meant to escort you to lunch,” she said, hesitantly holding a hand out to him. “Sergeant Jyn Erso.”

 _Erso_...the name sounded so familiar.

Cassian hesitated a moment before reaching out to shake her hand. “Captain Andor.” He couldn't help but smile at her. “Are you new to the Alliance?”

Her smile faltered for a flash before she recovered. “It’s a little complicated.” She shrugged a shoulder, looking down at her shoes before she met his gaze again. “Do you need help with anything before we go?”

He frowned, his gaze not leaving hers. He couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he had met her before. _He knew her, he trusted her, but why?_

“I should be alright,” he said, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He slid his feet into the slippers next to the bed, forcing himself to stand. “I don’t think I-” He turned, cutting himself off with a silent gasp when his spine protested against the sudden movement. He did something to it, he just...couldn’t remember what.

“Your back-” She gasped, reaching out for him. “Are you okay? Do you need-”

He took her hand in his, silencing her and giving him something to ground himself through the pain. “I’m alright.” He nodded, swallowing hard. “Just give me a minute.” He closed his eyes, focusing on her touch, breathing through the pain.

Her other hand touched his arm. “Are you alright?” she asked again, her voice quieter, less panicked.

He wondered why she seemed genuinely worried.

Cassian nodded, squeezing her hand before he slowly straightened. “Yes,” he said, looking back at her again. “I’m sorry, I-” He paused, his shoulders dropping. “I keep forgetting that I injured it.”

She gave him a watery smile. “That’s okay,” she assured him, hesitantly reaching out to touch his shoulder. “You’ll remember everything eventually.”

He frowned. “How can you be sure?”

Jyn shrugged, slowly starting to lead him towards the door. “I have hope,” she said, giving him a soft smile. She pulled the door open, ushering Cassian out in front of her.

They walked down the labyrinth of halls in silence, his hand wrapped tightly around hers.

“Back corner sound okay?” she asked when they finally made it to the mess hall.

“Yes, that’s fine,” he said, attempting to pull his hand from hers, but she wouldn’t budge. “I can walk just fine.”

She shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe I want to walk with you.”

Cassian’s brows furrowed, but he didn’t pull away. She slowly rubbed her thumb along his, relaxing beside him when he felt his own muscles begin to untense.

She led him to one of the more secluded tables and helped him to sit down. “I’ll be back,” she informed him before walking off to collect their food.

Cassian sighed, resting his forearms on the table as he waited. He looked up through his lashes when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stick up. Why was he being watched? No one ever paid attention to him- he was positive less than half of base had even _met_ him before.

He turned his head when he saw Jyn approaching. She had returned with a tray for both of them, setting them down before she sat down across from him.

“Why are people staring at me?” he asked.

“What?”

“Why are people starting at me?”

“They're not,” Jyn said, though even she didn't seem convinced.

Cassian gave her a pointed look when she met his gaze again. “Trust goes both ways.”

Something unrecognizable flashed over her face- maybe it was happiness? That didn’t make sense though.

“Look,” Jyn said, reaching out to pick up her fork. “I’m not allowed to say anything, no matter how much I want to-”

Cassian felt anger spark inside him. He hated being treated like he couldn’t be told what was happening.

“They just–” She sighed, looking up at him with a frown. “They don’t want to upset you with anything you don’t know on your own.” She looked down at her tray. “Besides, you really don’t want to remember it.”

“How would you know?” he asked, ignoring the twisting feeling in his gut at how she seemed to shy away from him

She looked down at her hands. “I was there,” she finally admitted. She looked up at him again. “For what happened to you.”

Cassian stiffened. He swallowed down the feeling of dread. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, looking down at his food. “I didn't mean to-”

She reached out for his hand and Cassian had to force himself to keep his expression from changing. His skin tingled beneath her touch.

“Don't be sorry,” Jyn said, her tone gentle. “Just relax. You're home and you're safe. You'll get there eventually.” She gave him a small smile before looking back down at her food.

Her hand didn't move from his.

They ate in silence, but it was comfortable.

After they finished, Jyn moved to sit next to him. They sat quietly, content with each other’s company as they observe the mess hall, happy to be away from the medbay.

She squeezed his hand when he winced at the clatter of something falling in the kitchen. “I’ll go get dinner and we can bring it back to your room in the medbay, okay?” She smiled over at him.

He nodded, trying to pick up his tray until she pulled it from his grasp. “Hey-”

“I’ll be back,” she interrupted, something in her expression telling him there was no way he’d be able to get his tray back. “Just wait for me, okay?”

Cassian nodded with a sigh, watching as she left with their trays. He stood when she was halfway across the mess, slowly walking towards her-

“Captain, you’re awful at following orders,” she said as she turned to see him trailing after her. She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.

Cassian shrugged, stopping when he stood in front of her. “And why should I listen to you, Sergeant?”

“Draven said _I_ was in charge,” she said. She grabbed the two trays with their dinner, looping her arm through his as they started towards the door. “If you want to have that argument with him then, please, be my guest.”

Cassian smiled, one hand raised in surrender. “I’m submitting,” he promised. “No need to get Draven involved.”

She smiled, suddenly more relaxed than he’d seen her all day. “Good.”

They walked back together in silence, his hand still grasped in hers.

Dinner in the medbay was quieter than lunch, mostly due to how tired Cassian was. He didn’t realised his eyes had closed until he had to open them when she took his plate from his lap.

She helped him back into bed. “Cassian?”

“Yes?”

“What's my name?”

“Jyn,” he said. “Sergeant.”

_Something was missing. What had he forgotten?_

There may have been a pause, but Cassian was too close to sleep to tell. “Does the name _Erso_ mean anything to you?” Jyn asked, sounding almost hesitant.

 _The name sounded familiar._ “I met him undercover, I think.”

He hummed when her fingers brushed his cheek. “Sleep, Cassian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for some reason i post a lot of fics when i fail chem exams lol


	3. DAYS CONSCIOUS: 14

The first thing Cassian noticed was the cold. It was _freezing_. He felt a chill creeping up his spine as he slowly pushed himself up in bed. He groaned when he stood, inching his way towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

Cassian turned, reaching for a blaster he knew wasn't there.

A woman lay on the couch next to his bed, half asleep under a pile of blankets, only her eyes exposed.

“Lie back down, Captain,” she ordered, though her yawning halfway through her sentence didn't do anything for her authority. She blinked, turning to look at him. Her green eyes bore into his despite her exhaustion. “It's too cold for you to be wandering around.”

“But I-” He'd originally gotten up with the intention of...going somewhere, but he couldn't remember where. “Who are you?”

“Sergeant Jyn Erso,” she said around another yawn. She stretched her arms over her head, one of her shoulders popping. The blanket slid down her chest, revealing her dark undershirt. She relaxed back against the couch, her eyes closed. “Now, get back into bed, Captain. Draven’s orders.”

Cassian watched her skeptically for a long moment before doing as she said. The cold hurt his spine and if he was being honest, he was too tired to continue arguing. As he slowly walked back to his bed, he noticed the blaster, vibroblade, and truncheon lying in a neat line on the floor in front of her, still within arm's length, but not hidden from him. “Why are your weapons out?”

She shifted onto her side, her back facing him. “So you feel more comfortable about me being here,” she said, her voice quiet and muffled.

His brows furrowed. “Why?”

She pulled the blankets up over her shoulders once more. “So you know I'm not a threat.”

Cassian looked at her, confused with why she was acting as if she was reciting something, but more importantly, _who_ she was. His eyes began to scan the room.

“Cassian, _rest_.”

He looked back at her, confused when he saw she hadn't moved.

“Who are you?” he asked again.

She sighed, turning to look back at him. “Sergeant Jyn Erso. Daughter of Galen and Lyra-” She yawned, pulling the blankets up to her chin. “Trained by Saw Garerra-” She paused for a moment before blinking three times. “ _Really_ tired.”

Cassian smiled at the last part.

Jyn looked up at him with tired eyes. She seemed to visibly relax when she noticed his smile. “Get in to bed.”

“I'm not tired,” Cassian argued, but he yawned as if on cue.

Jyn smiled- _she had such a beautiful smile_ -before closing her eyes again. “Sure you're not,” she sighed. She was quiet for another moment. “Sleep well, Captain.”

“Goodnight-” He paused when he realized he couldn't remember her rank. He needed to remember, he needed-

“Sergeant.”

Cassian looked over at Jyn.

She snuggled further under the blankets and- was that his parka? “Stop thinking so hard,” she ordered, exhaustion clear in her voice. “Go to sleep.”

Cassian nodded hesitantly, finally getting back into bed. He finally settled under the blankets, letting his eyes slip shut as warmth enveloped him. There'd be time to talk at a more reasonable hour.

* * *

A hand slowly sliding down his side pulled Cassian into consciousness.

“You're shaking.”

Cassian took a shallow breath as he looked towards the origin of the voice. “What?” he asked, slowly blinking the world into focus. His jaw clenched when his eyes met the beautiful green eyes of the woman speaking to him. _He knew her._

“You were mumbling in your sleep and-” She reached up to touch his cheek, but pulled her hand back at the last second. “And you were shaking.”

He nodded, unsure what to say. “Who are you?”

For a second it almost looked like he'd offended her, but she quickly continued past it. “Sergeant Jyn Erso.” She walked around the bed and sat down on the couch covered in blankets.

_Had she slept there? More importantly, had he willingly slept with his back turned to her?_

“Why are you here?”

Jyn pulled a blanket tight around her shoulders as she curled up on the couch. She looked down at her hands, picking at her nails. “You lost your memory.”

Cassian's stomach dropped. He couldn't have lost his memory- he would die without-

“It's only temporary,” she continued, pulling him back out of his head.

He looked up at her with furrowed brows.

“You should have your memories back in about fifteen standard days,” she continued, smiling at him.

She looked so tired.

Cassian nodded as he processed what she had said. Fifteen days… “How long have I not been remembering? When did this happen?”

She stood, crossed the room, and sat down next to him on the bed. She offered him her hand but didn't force him to take it. “You were unconscious for about...three days and it's been fourteen days since you woke up.”

He didn't speak for a moment as he processed what she'd just said. “Fourteen days?”

Jyn chuckled darkly, looking down at her lap. “I was down for five days.” She stayed quiet for a moment, but he could tell she wanted to say more. She met his gaze again, her face suddenly more relaxed. “Can you try to remember that you were unconscious for three days?”

Cassian's brows furrowed. “Why?”

“It's a way to test your memory.” She paused before she offered him a smile. “You’re getting better at it.”

“I am?”

She nodded, reaching up to run a hand through her hair. She huffed when her fingers caught in a knot, carefully reaching up to untangle it before smoothing her hair back. “You're doing very well.” She paused for a breath before she smiled at him. “I promise I'm telling you the truth.”

“I don't even know you-”

She looked down at the mattress as if his words stung. Before he could open his mouth, she stood and retrieved a datapad from the couch she was laying on. She tapped the screen a few times before handing it to him and sitting down on the edge of the bed once more.

Cassian's brows furrowed as he looked down at a letter from Draven. The message corroborated Sergeant Erso’s story, but it didn't explain how he was injured.

As Cassian read the letter her ignored the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.  “What did I do to get hurt this badly?”

She looked down at the datapad, a frown on her lips. “I’m not allowed to say.” She stayed quiet, but he didn’t try to speak. She sat up, holding her hand out to him again.

He studied her fingers, her skin turning pink from the cold. Against his better judgment, he took her hand in both of his to keep her warm.

She nodded, her gaze still pinned on their hands before she finally looked up at him. She cocked her head to the side. “You trust me?”

Cassian thought for a moment. He did without any hesitation and it scared him. He nodded, not trusting his voice.

Jyn smiled at him, threading her fingers through his. “I promise you’ll remember,” she assured him. “Don’t focus on it and it’ll come to you. Trust me when I tell you that your brain is healing.”

He nodded again, his gaze pinned to their hands. He looked up when her thumb slid back and forth along his.

“You alright?”

He raised his chin as if to nod, but he just couldn't make himself continue.

She squeezed his hand. “Trust me.”

Cassian closed his eyes for a moment. It all felt too familiar. _He knew her, he knew her, he-_

_“Cassian!”_

_He was falling._

His eyes opened when he felt warmth envelope him.

She was cupping his cheeks, looking down at him with concern in her eyes. “Are you okay?” She sounded so small, her voice fraying at the edges.

Cassian nodded slowly. He couldn't help but lean into her touch. She felt safe.

“Did you remember something?”

Cassian hesitated, focusing on the dark fabric of her shirt. “Falling,” he whispered, unsure what the memory was. He didn't realise his free hand was gripping the hem of her shirt until he felt her fingers wrap around his.

She shifted to sit cross-legged, her body still facing his. She squeezed his hand again, slowly working her fingers over the deathgrip he had on her shirt. “Relax, Cassian.”

He nodded slowly, reluctantly, just as she managed to pry his hand from the fabric of her shirt. He quickly took her hand in his when he noticed how shaky he still was.

His eyes slipped closed when she reached up to touch his face.

“You trust me?”

He nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Good.” She said, squeezing his hand again.

He sucked in a breath when felt her thumb brush over his cheek, her touch making himself relax. “I-”

A knock on the door pulled her attention away from him.

“Hold that thought.” She squeezed his hand before pulling away from him and walking towards the door. She opened the door a crack before pulling it open all the way. “Afternoon, Princess.”

Cassian's eyes widened when he noticed Leia on the other side of the door, two trays in hand. Why was the princess bothering herself with checking in on _him_ of all people? “What-” Cassian's brows furrowed as he trailed off. He turned to look at Jyn-

_But why? He's known Leia longer, after all._

Leia gave him a smile before Jyn allowed her to enter. “How’re you feeling, Captain?”

“I-” He hesitated, looking at Jyn again. “I'm okay.” He felt himself relax when she nodded in encouragement.

He almost jumped when he felt one of the trays being rested on his lap. _When had Leia walked over?_

Her smile faltered. “You alright?”

Cassian nodded, not bothering to speak. He'd let Jyn chat with her- he was too tired to put on a composed mask for his superiors.

“Can I speak to you in the hall, Leia?”

He looked up, meeting Jyn's gaze.

She gave him a small smile as Leia followed her through the door.

“What's this about, Sergeant? I-” Before Leia could continue, the door was pulled shut.

Cassian watched them speak, barely able to keep his eyes open. He could rest his eyes, wait until-

He blinked quickly when he suddenly caught a whiff of the food in his lap. It didn't smell amazing, but it still made his mouth water.

He looked up when the door opened and a woman entered. _Her knew her…_

“Sorry about that,” she said, stretching her arms over her head as she walked over, stealing a tray from the small table next to the couch covered in blankets. She sat down on the empty space by his knees, crossing her legs as she settled. She rested the tray on her thighs before she looked up at him.

Her eyes were so green, he could feel himself getting lost in them. They were so familiar.

“Cassian-” She reached up to touch his cheek, but he flinched away at the last second. She sighed, resting her hands on her knees. “What's my name?”

Cassian frowned. She was so familiar, he could feel her name on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't _know_ it.

She sighed again, reaching out for his hand. She took it in both of hers, holding it tightly.

_She was so warm._

“Jyn,” she said.

It sounded so familiar, but he couldn't place it. He recognised her eyes, her touch, her name, but he couldn't put the pieces together.

She squeezed his hand. “Eat.”

Cassian blinked, looking down at the tray on his lap.

Jyn pulled the lid back, revealing a container of what looked like stew, a single roll, and a small cup of...was that gelatin? She picked up a spoon and held it out to him, drawing his attention up to her face once more. “ _Eat._ ”

Cassian nodded, too tired to argue.

They ate in comfortable silence, her knee resting right above his, his free hand laying on the bed, only an inch or so from her ankle.

She shifted as she ran a torn off piece of bread along the inside of her bowl, her ankle shifting so it was resting over his hand. “I'm sorry,” she said, just as Cassian's fingers wrapped around her.

“Don't be,” he said, shaking his head. He'd never admit it aloud, but he was craving her touch. He continued to pick at his meal, barely able to force himself to eat. He looked up when her fingers suddenly wrapped around the bowl. His brows furrowed when she met his gaze.

“Can I?”

“You're _that_ hungry?”

Jyn sighed out through her nose. “I was going to offer to feed you,” she rolled her eyes. “You've barely eaten anything.”

Cassian frowned. “I can eat by myself.”

She reached out to cup his cheek. “I know you can-” Her thumb brushed over his cheek. “I just want to make sure you finish everything. You won't get better unless you eat.”

His shoulders fell. “I'm not a child.”

“I know.” Jyn nodded, bringing a spoon full of stew to his lips, her hand held out underneath it in the event anything dripped.

“Jyn-”

She lowered the spoon. “Cassian, eat it now when it's warm or I'm pinning you down and feeding it to you when it's cold. It's your choice, but you _will_ finish it.”

He huffed, before opening his mouth.

“Good boy,” she said, shoving the spoon in his mouth before he could say anything else.

He glared at her as he closed his mouth and swallowed when she pulled the spoon back. He slowly slid his thumb back and forth over her ankle, letting her continue feeding him until the bowl was empty.

She looked up at him for a moment before she tore a piece from his roll. She wiped it along the inside of the bowl, picking up the last remnants of the stew before holding the piece out to him. “Open.”

He obeyed, too tired to push her hand away. He quickly finished the last of the roll, letting his eyes slip shut when she brushed her knuckles along his cheek.

“Cassian?”

He hummed, leaning into her touch.

“How many days were you out?”

He paused. He remembered the information, but he couldn't quite _make_ himself remember it. He _knew_ the number.

She reached up to hold his face in her hands. “You should rest.”

“I'm not tired,” he lied, only opening his eyes to look at her when her hands pulled away.

“You can barely keep your eyes open.” Jyn smiled, pulling his tray from his lap as she stood up.

He felt the cold seep in, just above his knee and halfway up his thigh, now that she wasn't pressed against him. He watched her set the trays down and sit on the couch next to his bed.

“I'm not going far,” she promised, reaching up to rub her eyes as she yawned, suddenly drawing his attention to the bags under her eyes. “Rest, Cassian.”

He stubbornly watched her get settled under all of her blankets- and _his_ parka -before finally forcing himself to close his eyes.

He'd get answers tomorrow.


	4. DAYS CONSCIOUS: 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween hoes

It was so cold he could barely stand it. Cassian attempted to burrow further under his blankets. He paused when he heard a noise in his room.

He opened his eyes when he registered the sound of crying. He let his eyes adjust as he took in the blank ceiling.

When he could count out the number of tiles he turned towards the source of the crying, confused when he saw someone on the couch next to his bed.

But he couldn't tell  _who_.

Cassian carefully slid out of bed, his back screaming at the movement, his spine stiff and sore. He hesitantly stepped towards the mystery person.

_Woman. Something about her felt familiar._

She froze when he carefully knelt next to her and put his hand on her arm. He let out a breath when she didn't move to fight him off or run. “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine,” she said quietly.

He reached out to touch the back of her neck, the only part of her that was exposed, his skin on hers seemingly making her relax. He rubbed his knuckles along the back of her neck, watching as she melted beneath his touch.

She slowly turned onto her back, reaching up to rub her eyes after she settled. She looked up at him, dark circles under her beautiful green eyes.

_He knew her._

“Are you okay?”

She shook her head but didn't try to elaborate.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head again, frustrating Cassian further.

“Can I at least get your name?”

She took in a shaky breath, an almost heartbroken look crossed her face as she turned towards the couch again, her tears muffled by the material of the cushions.

 _Shavit_. Cassian reached out to touch the back of her neck. “Hey,” he whispered, inching closer. “No need to cry, it's okay.”

“No, it's not,” she said so quietly he almost didn't hear.

Cassian sighed, resting his hand on her hip through the many blankets covering her. “Come with me.”

He was relieved to hear her stop crying, but she didn't move. He reached out to touch her neck once more, the feeling of her skin against his making his fingers tingle. “Please,” he said, his voice quiet.

She let out a sigh, still unwilling to face him. “It doesn't matter, Captain. Go back to sleep.”

Cassian frowned. Maybe if he just-

He carefully slid one arm under her shoulders and the other under her knees.

She turned suddenly, her eyes going wide. She grabbed onto his shoulders before he could move. “Don't you dare.”

Cassian raised a brow in challenge. “Why not?”

“I'm not letting you hurt your back picking me up.” Her nails dug into his arms as she spoke.

“Please.”

Her shoulders relaxed and her brows furrowed slightly. “Why do you want me on the bed?”

He shrugged, watching as she shifted, leaving a small space next to her and the edge of the couch.

“Sit up,” she said, pulling him to sit in the space she'd made for him.

“Why?” Cassian asked, though he let her direct him anyway.

“You shouldn't have been kneeling like that,” she said, just as he felt a knotwork its way into his spine. She let out a yawn. “Not good for your back.”

He fought back the urge to brush a lock of hair behind her ear when it fell across her nose. “My kriffing back,” he huffed. “Not much is good for it.”

Jyn rubbed her eyes as she looked up at him with a tired smile. “You're cranky tonight.”

“Am not.” Cassian crossed his arms over his chest, about to speak again until he felt her hand lazily rubbing circles over his lower back.

She yawned, turning onto her side. “Why do you want me in your bed, Captain?”

He bit his bottom lip. He didn't know her, but he felt comfortable around her- felt less alone having her within arm's length.

“Cassian?”

He hummed, trying to piece together any semblance of reason- he was usually so _good_ with words. “Sorry.”

Her hand at his back slowed to a stop before she sat up. “Don't be.” She reached out to touch his cheek, her eyes scanning over his face. “Tell me what you want.”

Cassian blinked, unsure of what to say- _unsure of what he wanted if he were being honest._ “I don't know,” he admitted. “I just-” He paused, wetting his lips. “I feel like something's missing.”

She studied him, searching for some sign he'd give up on his quest and go back to sleep.

“Okay,” she finally said as she got up and walked around to the far edge of the bed. Cassian watched as she sat down, but she didn't pull the blankets over herself. She looked up at him with an expression he couldn't place. “Bring the parka,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Cassian's brows furrowed for a moment before he looked at the bottom layer of her pile of blankets to see his parka. He frowned. “Have you been sleeping with it?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” she said quietly, laying on her side facing away from him.

Cassian hummed in agreement, deciding to leave her be for the time being. He couldn't help but groan as he pushed himself up to stand, drawing her attention. He let out a content sigh when he met her eyes again. _They were such a beautiful green._

“You okay?” she asked, her voice quiet and worried.

Cassian nodded, slowly walking back towards the small bed. He laid the parka over her legs before climbing onto the mattress.

Only as they both tried to sit down did he realized how small the cot really was.

She rested her hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him onto the mattress before he could say anything.

He watched as she assessed the sliver of mattress left, about to lie down when Cassian laid his arm out so it hung off the mattress. It didn't add much room, but she could easily slide in beside him and he could make sure she didn't fall.

She looked up at him with furrowed brows before she finally settled in beside him. She made sure to leave an inch between them, almost afraid to touch him. She laid the parka over their legs before pulling up the rest of the blankets on his bed.

When she settled in, he couldn't help but notice how stiff she was.

“Did I hurt you?” He finally asked, drawing her gaze up to his. “You seem…tense around me.”

She shifted under the blankets, the bare skin of her neck suddenly pressed against his forearm.

_She was so warm and her skin was so soft._

Her shoulders relaxed after an exhale. “No,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “You never hurt me.”

“Then why were you crying?”

She shook her head. “It's nothing.”

“It's clearly something.” He paused, offering her a long moment to respond. He huffed as pain began to blossom at the base of his skull. “Jyn, just tell me.”

Her eyes opened and she suddenly looked so alert. “What did you just call me?”

His brows furrowed. His brain was beginning to feel hazy, but he needed to understand. “What?”

She bit her bottom lip as she took a deep breath in through her nose. “You said my name.”

He frowned, sure he was no longer hiding his frustration. “I don't understand.”

She reached up to rest her palm over his heart. “Sleep,” she said, slowly dragging her thumb back and forth.

“But-”

“Cassian, shut up,” she whispered, inching closer.

He blinked, unsure what to say. He bit back a noise of surprise when he felt her toes through her socks as they pressed to the side of his leg. “Force,” he whispered. “Your toes are freezing.”

She stayed quiet as he reached down to pull up her legs by her knees. “Cassian-”

He looked up at her as firmly as he could muster through the sudden haze of exhaustion that settled over him. “Shut up,” he echoed as his free hand reached down to wrap around her toes.

The fight seemed to leave her. “Okay,” she said, shifting slightly as her free hand slid up to grasp the arm her head lay on. She reached up to rub her eyes before she curled closer to him.

He listened quietly, smiling to himself when he heard her soft snoring as she'd finally drifted off. He closed his eyes, the sounds of her breathing lulling him to sleep.

* * *

Cassian woke to a door squeaking open and closed, then a sudden shock of cold. He didn't move, instead feigning sleep.

The intruder toed off their shoes before walking along the right side of his bed. They placed something down on the tray table next to him before quickly undoing whatever gear they were wearing off.

_Coat, coat, gloves, jacket-_

They reached down to touch his cheek, their touch soothing in a way.

_He knew that touch._

“Good morning,” she whispered.

_That voice-_

He murmured something, but he couldn't quite figure out what it was.

She sighed beside him, reaching down to brush his hair out of his eyes. “Come on.”

Cassian forced himself to open his eyes, suddenly greeted by a kind smile and tired eyes. He reached out before he could stop himself, his fingers brushed just below her eyes.

She attempted to curl in on herself and turn away, but his hand on her cheek stopped her.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, her voice quiet.

Cassian felt his head tilt. “You look tired.”

Her brows furrowed. “I'm not.”

His lips pursed. He didn't believe her, but he didn't argue. He let his hand drop down to her neck before it finally fell in his lap.

She gave him a tired smile before she turned away to the couch next to his bed. She picked up a datapad and handed it to him.

Cassian's brows furrowed as he began to read.

It was a letter from Draven.

As Cassian read through it- _you've been having memory trouble for twenty days...trust the woman in front of you...relax_ -he absentmindedly moved his legs to the edges of the bed as Jyn sat on the sheets in the space he created.

She wrapped a blanket around herself and tucked it in around his feet.

He didn't even concern himself with wondering why they had such a natural rhythm. He didn't care. He didn't feel anything other than safe.

He looked up at her after he finished the letter. “Twenty days?”

She nodded, holding her hand out for the datapad.

Cassian handed it to her, settling back against the bed. He watched as Jyn shifted to kneel, leaning over his thigh as she took the lid off a tray and handed it to him.

She did the same for the remaining tray and settled down to begin eating. She paused after only a few spoonfuls into her soup. “Start eating.”

Cassian blinked. “Sorry,” he whispered, picking up his spoon. He began to eat, slowly working his way through the entire bowl.

He looked up when he felt Jyn's hand on his knee.

She set both trays on the table next to him.

“I'm going to ask you a couple questions,” Jyn explained, setting the datapad down on her knee. “If you know, tell me. If you don't, we'll move on.”

Cassian nodded.

“How long were you unconscious?”

He paused, mulling over the question. _He'd just read it._ “Three days,” he said, though it sounded like a question to even his ears.

“That's good.” She reached out to take his hand in hers. “Does the name _Erso_ mean anything to you?”

Cassian hummed. “Yes,” he said slowly, racking his brain for the information. _He knew the name._ “I…” He looked up at her. “That's your surname?”

“Good.” She perked up, offering him a reassuring smile. “And who am I?”

“Sergeant Jyn Erso.”

He knew her first name. He didn't understand why, but he _knew_ it.

“Yes.” She squeezed his hand. “Does _Scarif_ mean anything to you?”

“I know it...but I don't.”

“That's okay.” She slowly rubbed her thumb along the back of his hand. “Now just tell me if you recognize the name, okay?”

Cassian nodded.

“Alright,” she sighed, taking a moment to think. “Chirrut Îmwe.”

“I recognize the name.”

“Baze Malbus.”

Cassian shook his head. “But it sounds familiar.”

The corner of her brow twitched up, but she continued. “Bodhi Rook?”

Cassian nodded. He remembered being tasked with locating Rook before…before. “Yes, I was tasked with his recovery.”

“Right.” Jyn looked back up at him, clearing her throat before she brushed her fringe out of her eyes with her free hand. “Saw Gerrera.”

Saw Gerrera: rebel, Partisan leader, _absolute nerfherder._ “I don't think I could ever forget that man.”

She hummed, tapping the screen of the datapad. “Oh-” She paused, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. “Death Star?”

Cassian shook his head. It sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite grasp the idea of what it was.

She nodded, looking up at him as she turned off the datapad. “Do the names _Han Solo_ or _Luke Skywalker_ mean anything to you?”

“No.”

“Alright.” She moved to stand up.

Cassian reached out for her before he could think about it. He blinked, looking down at his hand in confusion before he quickly looked up at her. He opened his mouth- but then it occurred to him that he should have thought of something to say. He pulled his hand back slowly. “I'm sorry.”

“No, it's-” She offered him a reassuring smile. “It's alright,” she whispered, reaching down to squeeze his knee through the sheets.

Cassian tried to smile, but the look in her eyes told him it was pathetic. He sighed, looking down his lap.

She stood, reaching up to brush her knuckles along his cheek before they slipped under his chin, tipping his head up so he met her gaze. “You're remembering more and more each day.” She smiled down at him, her hands shifting to cup his face. “You'll be alright soon.”

Cassian frowned. “And if I'm like this forever?”

“You won't be.” She smiled, her thumbs slowly sliding back and forth over his cheeks. “The doctors say you'll be just fine.”

_Why did her touch feel so natural?_

He blinked rapidly when he felt her hands being slowly pulled away, holding his head up again. “Jyn?”

“Yes?” She whispered.

He shook his head. “It's nothing.”

“You sure?”

Cassian nodded, closing his eyes as he settled back against the bed. He rubbed his eyes before he looked up at her. “I’m going to rest, okay? I'm tired.”

Jyn looked like she wanted to say more, but she nodded, stepping back from the bed. “Okay,”

He listened as she hesitated before finally walking back to the couch and settling under the blankets.

He'd be okay soon.

Soon.

He just needed to remember.


	5. DAYS CONSCIOUS: 25

Cassian woke slowly, the space next to him just barely warm. He turned his head, smiling to himself when he buried his nose into the far end of the pillow.

_It smelled like Jyn._

He blinked slowly, turning towards the couch next to his bed. His brows furrowed. _Was that the princess?_

Where was Jyn?

Cassian quietly slipped out of his room, the floor cold beneath his bare feet, frigid air nipping at his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt and his sleep pants. He paused when he stepped out into the hall. _Left, right, or straight._

He frowned, looking down each empty hallway.

 _Right._ Something in him said right. He started walking, not paying any attention to what he was passing. He just went right.

He didn't have to walk very long until he saw one door at the end of the hallway. _Droidbay…_ Cassian blinked.

He walked faster, hitting a few buttons on the keypad.

_ACCESS DENIED._

Cassian frowned. He tried another combination.

_ACCESS DENIED._

He grit his teeth before slamming his palm against the keypad.

_ACCESS GRANTED._

He blinked, watching the door slide up. He couldn't help but sigh at the shoddy Alliance technology he knew so well.

When he stepped into the room, he shivered at the sudden blast of heat. The room was still chilly, but much warmer than the hallway.

His ears perked up when he heard something sparking. No one was occupying any of the tables-

“Kriff!”

Cassian didn't speak, instead listening as there was a bang followed by several more muttered curses.

“I hate this stupid droid,” someone- _Jyn?_ -muttered. “I'll melt him down one of these days, I swear.” Suddenly her voice sounded as if she was talking around something. “K-iffin’ hunk of junk-”

“Jyn?”

There was a clatter of screws hitting the floor, followed by a slam, and an _ouch_. Her head poked up from under a table. She rubbed her hand over the back of her head, her eyes going wide when she noticed him. “Cassian, why aren't you in bed?”

He shrugged a shoulder.

She stood quickly, rounding the table she was at. She stopped in front of him, taking off her jacket- _was that his parka?_ “You're freezing,” she whispered, wrapping the jacket around him.

“I'm okay.” He sighed when she reached out to wrap her fingers around his. Maybe he was a _little_ cold. He closed his eyes when she squeezed his hands.

She let out a chuckle, pulling one hand free to reach up to cup his cheek.

He opened his eyes, suddenly realizing how close she was.

_She was so warm._

“How long have you been walking around?”

Cassian shrugged. “I was a little hazy when I first got up,” he said, looking over her shoulder at the table she had been at originally. “What're you working on?”

“Oh,” she breathed. “A friend’s droid is acting up. I'm just doing a few repairs.” She dragged her thumb along his cheek. “You look exhausted.”

“I'm not,” Cassian said, shaking his head. He ignored the fatigue that had settled into his bones.

Jyn shook her head with a sigh. “Eventually you'll remember you can't lie to me.”

Cassian rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to speak just as the doors to the droidbay opened. He groaned, stepping closer to Jyn. “I hate this planet.”

She sighed, letting her hand slide down to his neck. “I know.”

“There you are!”

Cassian sighed, looking down at Jyn and the little space that stood between them. “She wasn't following me when I got up,” he mumbled, reaching up with his free hand to rub his tired eyes.

Her hand dropped from his neck as she stepped towards Princess Leia. “Princess.” Jyn squeezed Cassian's hand when the other woman stopped advancing towards them. “I asked for three hours and you can't keep track of him for _one_?”

Leia huffed. “In my defense, he _is_ our best spy.”

Jyn shrugged, turning back towards Cassian. “Can you go back with her?”

He frowned. “Why can't I stay here?”

“It's too cold for you.”

“But-”

“Andor, just listen to her,” Leia said from behind them.

Cassian gritted his teeth.

“I’ll go with you,” Jyn said quietly.

He looked down, his brows furrowed. “What?”

“I was just getting a little restless,” she explained. “I'm sorry, I should have waited until your head was alright.” She squeezed his hand. “Go back with Leia and I'll be right there.”

“Promise?” Cassian asked, ignoring how shy he sounded.

“Promise.” Jyn nodded, squeezing his hand. She pulled a pen from the pocket of her fatigues. She scribbled something on the back of his hand before letting go of his hand and taking a step back.

Cassian held his hand up to read what she'd written.

_Jyn will come back._

He looked up at her, nodding his head when she tried to smile. “Fine.”

Her shoulders relaxed as she shoved her hands in her pockets. “I'll be right behind you as soon as I clean up my work. I promise.”

Cassian nodded before walking towards Leia.

“How do you make him listen like that?” Leia teased, pulling the door open.

“Don’t bother him with talk of your dysfunctional love life, Princess,” Jyn said.

“It was just a question.” Leia sighed, waiting for Cassian.

He turned back as soon as he reached the door.

Jyn smiled at him. “I promised, remember?”

He nodded, still not moving.

“Go, Cassian,” she urged.

Cassian took a deep breath, nodding before he finally made himself keep walking.

He and Leia walked together in silence, the air thick with- not tension, but something else.

“You remember me, right?” she asked.

Cassian looked at Leia. “Of course.”

Leia nodded. “Just nothing from before this morning?”

“I remember-” He paused. “Maybe a week or two before I got hurt.” He shrugged. “I don't know, my head still isn't back to where it's supposed to be.”

She hummed.

He looked down at his hand, studying the letters there.

_Jyn will come back._

It was so simple, but it made his heart swell for no reason at all.

_He knew her, he knew her, he knew her._

“Captain?”

He turned to look at Leia. “Ma'am?”

Leia stayed quiet for a moment while they walked. “Do you-” A pause. “How do you feel about Sergeant Erso?”

Cassian shrugged. “I think she's a very valuable asset. She smart, fast, cunning. She-” He stopped when he realized Leia wasn't beside him. He looked back, his brows furrowing when he noticed she's stopped a few meters back. “Princess?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Try again,” she said before walking ahead of him.

“What?”

“I don't believe you,” she said. “Tell me the truth.”

“Excuse me?”

Leia stopped, turned back to him. “You _like_ her. You like her so much and you don't even know why. You know you haven't known her long but you trusted her more than anyone else- even in the beginning.”

Cassian’s hands balled into fists at his side. “What's your point?”

“When are you going to tell her?”

“Maybe when I can remember the date I'll think about it,” he huffed.

“I knew you would! Han owes me fifteen credits.”

“Wait-” Cassian deflated a little. _What does that mean?_ “What? Who's Han?”

“Oh,” Leia breathed. “I-”

“Leia, can you be any bit helpful,” Jyn interrupted from down the hall.

“Oh, thank the Force,” Leia whispered.

“What-”

“He's going to get sick,” Jyn said, stopping beside Cassian.

He looked down at her, suddenly noticing she was only wearing a tank top. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I'm fine.” Jyn reached out for his hand. “Let's get you back to your room, you're not wearing shoes.”

Cassian blinked, looking down at his feet. He shivered when Jyn's hand slid up his arm, into his sleeve, her sudden warmth making him realised how cold he was.

“Come on,” she said.

“Thanks for the help, Princess.” Jyn sighed, pulling Cassian back towards his room.

They made quick work of the halls, neither speaking.

When they got back to his room she threw the door opened and pulled him in, snaking her way inside his jacket. _Force, she was freezing._ He held her tightly, rubbing his hand back and forth over her back.

She wordlessly stepped out of her shoes, leading him towards the bed. She walked him to the edge of the bed. “Stay here.”

Cassian nodded, reaching up to rub his eyes.

Jyn grabbed a blanket from the couch to add to those already on the bed. She reached out, unzipping his jacket and pushing it from his shoulders. She laid the coat down over her side of the bed before she turned back to him, encouraging him to get onto the bed.

He followed, watching as she pulled the thick blankets up. She turned to leave, but froze when he grabbed her hand. She smiled, slipping under the blankets next to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and threaded her fingers through his.

He pulled her closer when she let out a content sigh, smiling to himself as she held on tightly. “Comfortable?”

She nodded, muttering something under her breath.

“What was that?”

She moved closer. “I asked if you were okay.”

He kissed the crown of her head. “Better than okay.”

She yawned, nodding her head. “Good.”

Cassian listened to her breathing evening out before letting his tired eyes slip shut.

Only a few more days and then he'd feel okay.

He'd remember and everything would be fine.

He hoped.

* * *

Cassian woke slowly, cold nipping at the tips of his ears. His throat burned and his whole body felt sore. He felt someone gripping him tightly. He forced his eyes opened, confused when he noticed someone laying on the bed, half under him, her focus on the datapad she was holding.

He couldn't help but shift closer, she was so warm compared to his ice-cold limbs.

_He felt safe._

“Good morning,” she whispered.

_Jyn._

Cassian grumbled, pressing his face that much more firmly against her neck. He didn't want to talk, just wanted to fall asleep again in her arms. He groaned when her fingers slowly slipped through his hair. He coughed- _his throat_.

_He should get up, should be taking stock of the situation- but she was so warm._

He felt what little fight he had leave him when she kissed his temple.

“You want your morning briefing?” she asked, her voice quiet.

Cassian nodded once, but he didn't attempt to move beyond that. _He felt secure._

“Do you know who you are?”

He nodded again once.

“Use your words.” She continued smoothing his hair.

“Cass-” He cut himself off with a coughing fit.

She reached out for a water bottle. She uncapped it and brought it to his lips, whispering for him to drink. “Please.”

He reached out to wrap his fingers around her wrist. He drank, squeezing her wrist when he needed her to slow down or stop the flow of water. He took a shaky breath when she pulled the water bottle away.

“No more?”

He shook his head. “Thank you.”

She nodded, putting the water bottle down. She kissed the crown of his head as her arms wrapped around him tightly. “You know your name?”

“Cassian Jeron Andor,” he finally whispered.

She gave him a gentle squeeze. “Good boy.”

Cassian shivered, snuggling closer.

Jyn's arms tightened around him, grounding him. “You remember me?”

He nodded slowly.

“You need to say it, Cassian.”

“Sergeant Jyn Erso.”

She reached down to brush a drop of water away from the edge of his bottom lip. “Good.”

He sighed, letting himself drift under her touch until he remembered how he ached all over. “What happened?”

Jyn's fingers threaded through his hair.

He shivered at her touch, holding her closer.

“Relax.” She kissed his brow. “You're okay, you got sick last night. You've been sleeping it off.”

“How long?”

“About eight hours.”

Cassian nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. He groaned when he felt a wave of nausea crash over him.

“Don’t move too much,” she whispered.

He made a quiet noise to acknowledge her. “I'm sick?”

“Yes.”

Cassian felt his heart racing in his chest. “Did my head-”

“No, don't,” Jyn whispered. “You're making yourself panic.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” She rested her hand on the back of his neck, rubbing her thumb back and forth behind his ear. “You got out of bed without a coat, pants, or shoes. You got _sick_. It's to be expected, especially since you've been in the medbay for a standard month.”

Cassian swallowed. “A month?”

Her thumb hesitated. “Yes.”

“Can I ask something?”

She nodded, leaning forward to kiss the crown of his hair.

“What happened on Scarif?”

Jyn stiffened below him.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”

“No.” She took a deep breath. “No, I'm sorry. I just haven't talked about it yet.”

Cassian swallowed, glancing up at her. “I'm sorry I still can't remember.”

Jyn looked down at him. “How's that your fault?”

He frowned. “Didn't I get hurt-”

“Helping _me_ ,” she interrupted. “If this is anyone's fault it's _mine_.”

“But I followed you?”

She nodded, looking slightly puzzled. “Yeah.”

He reached out for her free hand, threading his fingers through hers. “It's not your fault.”

“But I-”

Cassian squeezed her hand. “No.”

“You don't-”

“No, Jyn.”

She sighed, nodding after a moment. “Okay.” She didn't say anything else, but he suddenly noticed she had tensed up.

He closed his eyes, leaning in to kiss the exposed skin of her collarbone. “What's wrong?” He asked, resting his head on her shoulder.

She shook her head, but she didn't speak.

“Jyn?” He squeezed her middle when she didn't speak. He slowly pushed up on his forearm when she still didn't respond. His eyes widened when he noticed the tear sliding down the side of her face. “I'm sorry, I didn't-”

“Just hold me, okay?”

He blinked, slowly nodding his head. He inched up, holding her close. “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> this popped into my head after reading the amazing [truth and trust](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15293481/chapters/35479995) by the equally amazing [skitzofreak](https://skitzofreak.tumblr.com/).


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